So sorry..

I'm so sorry I've been neglecting my blog for this time.  We have experienced so many new changes in the last couple of weeks.  Darryl has started a new job.  It's so weird to have him not working for his last company anymore-he had been there 10 yrs!
 We also are preparing for the boys' baptism and chrismation as well as Darryl's chrismation into the Orthodox church.  We are all so excited about it!  Updates with pictures will be coming when that happens.  My dad will be their godfather and Tracey will be their godmother.  I can't wait to have everyone here rejoicing in such a special event!  Then, on to Great Lent!

What I've been up to lately...

A whole lotta  this!

This little one loves to be held constantly and I'm so thankful for the Toby wrap!

(My friend, Heather named my wrap the Toby wrap because it's a homemade(by me) Moby style wrap)

Some of this...

The garden isn't as big as I had envisioned due to our newest blessing, but we still have 3 beds and everything is started to progress nicely(except for the eggplant)..



Not enough of this...

I've been able to steal a few moments here and there to sew but it hasn't been much.  I was able to whip this little summer top up but it took three weeks!  Only sewing 5 minutes here and there makes for a very long project, but I'm glad I did get those moments even if they are few.

(If you'd like to sew this, it's a tutorial on the SewMamaSew blog-it's the spring ruffle top)

Will be back...

I'll be back soon.  I've had a rough week and a rough weekend so I need a bit to get some posts together about what has been going on.
Praising God for healthy children and a wonderful family.
Praising God for family moving close.
Praising God for twin boys that are such a big help to their mama.
Praising God for a beautiful morning and mild temperatures(that heat wave was horrible).  I had such a pleasant walk down our driveway this morning with baby in a  wrap snuggled close(and not crying-which has been rare these last two days). 

33 weeks!

I'm over 33 weeks now...has this pregnancy flew by or what?  It seems like yesterday I was freaking out that  I was pregnant and now I'm freaking out I have so much to do(and buy) before little one makes his arrival.  I'm feeling good and trying to keep up with my exercising so my body can prepare for the hardest(and most rewarding)exercise of all in a short time.  I've been craving cottage cheese and blueberries and eat it daily(topped with cinnamon) it's sooo good!!  Otherwise, we've set up the crib, purchased a car seat/stroller and are trying to buy things here and there for him.  I really need to start thinking about freezer cooking but as of right now I have no room in either of my freezers.  Our new friend Ron surprised us with an abundance of Venison yesterday and it's so good!  He even gave us Venison pepperoni-the boys are so excited about that because I never buy pepperoni for our pizza night because of the nitrates and yucky stuff in them..so this week-Venison pepperoni pizza!

On the homestead, our chickens are doing great and hopefully the coop will be complete tomorrow!  Also, our garden is starting to sprout some cold weather crops-beets, spinach, sugar snap peas, and an array of lettuces. 

We've had some setbacks on the home school front and although I do love homeschooling, my patience has been tested as of late.  I'm trying to get everything squared away before our new arrival so we can just focus on the 3R's this summer and have everything else completed(we school year round so we can take off when we want/need). I'm re-evaluating some curriculum choices(think I may go with My Father's World next year) as well as making some changes in math.  Thankfully, the boys scored very well on their state testing but I think(especially Matthew) he is understanding math the way I understand math-in memorization...I'm  great at memorizing and did very well in math(my senior year I was in AP Calculus)..but SAT's...awful!  Why?  Because I didn't truly get math...I could remember concepts, I could apply concepts, but give me a word problem and that was where it all fell apart...which is why I think I did so poorly on the SAT's but did very well in a school type environment.  In school, they just wanted you to memorize the concept of the week and apply it to your test on Friday.  I think Matthew is doing the exact same thing so we are looking at some Asian math curriculum's that place a high priority on word problems and conceptual math.  Fortunately, Darryl is a whiz at math and when I get stuck(I can't believe I've actually gotten stuck on a couple of 3rd grade math word problems)..Darryl has come to the rescue and loves to do math with the boys. 

Anyway, that's about it here on the home front, I've been experimenting with some new recipes lately attempting to limit our grains as well as gluten and have come up with some wonderful new recipes.  I'm really loving them!
And my Vita mix..well...it's my new favorite appliance.  I made coconut, peanut butter and banana ice cream today....in the Vita mix...can you believe it?  I also have a recipe for homemade Magic Shell-I L...O..V..E.. Magic Shell but just can't ever bring myself to buy it-have you seen the ingredients in it?...yucky!  Well, I found a homemade version that uses coconut oil(so good for you!) and dark chocolate.  I'm so excited for dessert tonight!!  I'll share the recipes with pictures if they are good next week (-:

I think I may throw up...

F..I..N..A..L..L..Y... I get the computer stuff straightened out, then my cameras drivers won't work on my new computer(says computer guy) so I order a media reader for my picture card.  I sit down this morning with a hot cup of tea ready to upload pictures from Christmas to now...NOTHING...there is nothing on my card except pictures I took last Saturday at the boys' talent show.  I have not one picture from Christmas...I'm totally freaking out right now and don't know whether to scream or cry..or both...
Is there someway to retrieve this pictures somehow?  I just kept them on my card because my computer was so wonky...and now this...

Will be back in a couple of days...

Well, we purchased a new laptop.  Ours was fried because I didn't know you weren't supposed to use a laptop in bed or on your lap with a pillow or blanket(I always wondered why the laptop felt so hot....). ..I'll be honest, I don't want to know how a computer works or researching this and that, I just want to plug in and go...

So, we've purchased a new laptop and I tried to upload my camera drivers yesterday and it failed(See, I told you I loathe computer stuff).  So, Darryl is taking the new laptop to our computer guy to do all the stuff computer people do to get your laptop ready for use.  So, I should have it in a couple of days and will share, share, share!! 

Meanwhile, I've been in a sewing frenzy(I must be beginning nesting)but on a super-duper fabulousous other note...WE ARE DEBT FREE (besides the mortgage)....Oh my gosh!  How good it feels!  We have tried to be good stewards of our money the last 5-8 years but always had some sort of debt(usually those pesky student loans)...Well, I'm happy to say they are officially paid off!!  We sat down last night and reworked the budget to get gazelle intense(Dave Ramsey talk here) to fully fund our emergency fund.  We didn't completely do this the way Dave Ramsey would have wanted us to so it took us longer but I was never comfortable having only $1000 saved for emergencies like he suggests while you are paying down debt.  So, even though we didn't do it his way and paying off debt took a bit longer, our fully funded emergency fund is not going to take as long because we've always had much more saved than what he has suggested.  So, anyway, we reworked the budget last night and I look foward to getting that done.   Once that is done we can hopefully start saving for some fun things-like a pool and a screen room!  

Other news, I'm ordering baby chicks today!!! Yippee!  Can't wait to get them!!!  I'll take pictures when we do as this is going to be a new adventure for all of us!

I'll be posting more as soon as I get my new computer, I hate posting without pictures!
Off to start with state testing for the boys...until next time..many blessings to you all!

Sadly..still no laptop

I just had a rare and lovely nap so I'm feelin' up to giving an update!

I'll spare the long story and drama that has played out with our laptop but there is a silver lining, I believe.
Long story short, the man Darryl hired to fix our laptop dropped it, broke it and then called us with an astronomical price to fix the computer because he figured(we believe) that we would just agree that the laptop wasn't worth that and we'd just buy another new one. (Darryl had told him beforehand if the cost was alot to fix we just wouldn't do it so we believe he took that information and used it to his advantage).  Well, Darryl found someone else to fix the laptop and when he went to pick it up the laptop was completely torn apart and broken.  We, unfortunately couldn't prove what he did and he was out on a bike ride when Darryl showed up(his wife was there and called him on his cell) and he wouldn't come home to address the situation and left his wife to deal with it(I'm so glad my husband isn't dishonest like that)...Anyway, the new computer guy has put our laptop back together but is still working on it...it has only cost us $35 so far so I'm grateful we went with the new guy...

So, hopefully we are well on our way to a fixed(albeit not pretty it's all banged up from being dropped) laptop.

We are having a good week, a bit stressed due to Darryl's work schedule and It wouldn't be right if I didn't express how bad of a wife I was yesterday.  I was just so frustrated with the last two months and his work schedule.  Thankfully, he is such an understanding and forgiving husband and after I got out my anger we reconciled quickly. 

We were blessed with a free piano..did I post that? Oh my gosh, how could I forget! 
I've been searching for a good, inexpensive piano for the boys so that we could do our lessons here at home when baby comes.  Well, I've been searching for months!  I found a beautiful piano in great shape on Craigslist and it was free!  The owner and I had a wonderful conversation on the phone and he decided to not only hold it for me but offered to help deliver it and bring it in!!!  It's perfect!  After I get the laptop fixed I'll take a picture and post the boys enjoying their new piano!

Baby is still rockin' and rollin' in my tummy.  He's been busy at night...
I've started making him a baby blanket and just finished converting a pair of old jeans into maternity pants...So, easy-there is noooo reason to spend oodles of money on maternity clothes...

We ordered seeds on Monday night and it was so fun picking out all the different veggies.  We bought purple cauliflower!  I'm so excited to see how those will taste and turn out. 

The weather is beyond awesome the last couple of days...I've been sneaking outside while the boys finish lessons just to soak up the sun!   I'll be so happy when it's warm enough to sit on the front porch again.  I love to sit there with a cup of coffee in the mornings during my quiet/prayer time before the boys wake up.
God has been so good to me lately...or I should say God has always been good to me I've just failed to notice his blessings from time to time.  As I wade through this uncertain time of figuring out where I belong, he's been right there.  It has been a long struggle for me and I'm not going to make this decision lightly.  I feel like the last couple of months my relationship with God has suffered in my attempt to follow a different path...I'll share about that later when I feel led to do so...but rest assured..he has welcomed me back and assured me he's always been there....

Many blessings to you and your family today!

Some sorta sick joke...

And I'm not laughing...

Now  my laptop needs over $300 in repairs....(cue Debbie Downer..wha..wha...)

(In case you never watch SNL and don't know who Debbie Downer is here is a little clip:
http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/debbie_downer_thanksgiving_dinner/1179438)

Ughhh...

So, our pretty new(3 years) old washing machine has been on the fritz for a while....since December...early December.  I have hated this thing since we bought it and secretly have been hoping it would die so we could buy a new one, but on the other hand knowing how close we are to being debt free, I was hoping it would last for a bit longer(seeing that it's only 3 years old).  I know some people LOVE their front loaders but I personally hate it..especially mine.  So, we've had some leaking problems and problems with it stopping mid load, draining issues, etc.  Darryl has been super busy every night with a project for work with a looming deadline, so I hate to bring it up to him..especially since I'm already harping on him about our garden beds and chicken coop.  So, finally after much frustration, we called a repairman yesterday.  He said it would be $100 to fix the bellow and it should be good....
So, I go out with some friends for a nice dinner knowing that Darryl was home with this repair guy taking care of the situation.  I get a call about 2 hours in to our lovely dinner informing me that there was alot more wrong with the washer and the bill was over $400!!!! It was orginally $600 but Darryl talked with the guy and got him to lower it to $428....what a way to sour my dinner )-:
Ugghhh...it's the beginning of the month and we've already had to shell this out.  On the plus side, it has a warranty for 2 years so I get to use it for another 2 years...yeah!!!(insert sarcasmn here)....
Well,....at least we had the money to pay for it and I do get to catch up on laundry now...still hoping for debt payoff by the end of this month.  I'm going to have to get super creative with the budget and really eat from our pantry instead of grocery shopping.  I did go yesterday and noticed Aldi's prices went up quite a bit from just a few weeks ago.  Apples were .20 more a bag, butter had gone up quite a bit and several other items.  We really need to focus on those gardens and chickens because I fear, no not fear..I feel the need to prepare..for the rising grocery costs and I believe it do dilegence in that respect.  Plus, who doesn't LOVE a homegrown tomato? 

Gotta go now.  We are having a pajama school day today since it's rainy and cold.  I'm also going to try and convert several pairs of pants I don't wear anymore into maternity pants....

Quick update

Darryl is dropping off the laptop today to get fixed(hopefully).  If it's too much then unfortunately, we'll have to suck it up and by another one.  I can't stand not being able to post pictures and I hate to get behind on uploading pictures to Snapfish because then I have like 500 pictures at a time! 

Last night was the first night in over two weeks that I didn't have bad dreams.  My dreams were still vivid and crazy, but not scary and bad.  I was so thankful, I woke up around 3:30(to go potty of course) and thanked God for helping me sleep better. 

I'm having a hard time with church...AGAIN...I had a major issue with one priest at a parish I thought for sure would be a fit.  I know, I know they are human, but the comment he made to me just really solidified the fact that I did not, under any circumstances, bring my family to his church...so off I trek to find another parish.  I emailed the priest about confession hours because frankly, I wanted to go to confession before taking communion...and he basically blew me off.  In a nutshell, he told me it was useless to hear my confession if I wasn't an *active* (meaning tithing in my mind) member of his parish.  Why wouldn't he see me for confession?  Why wouldn't he try to get to know me so that I could become an active member?  His email was very rude and when I emailed him back asking what I could do to become active..well,...he never emailed me back...I know I can be sensitive during this time but I had Darryl read them and he felt the same way.  Darryl can be very objective and give the benefit of the doubt, but he even felt that the email was cold and rude....so here we are again...pray for me if you feel inclined.  I'm at a crazy crossroad again and really have no more options unless we drive over an hour to church(which I know that Darryl would not be o.k. with)..this is his decision too....I believe I know where he feels most comfortable but I keep going back to what I believe is the truth...I'm sick of it to be honest and I just want to be at peace with it all....

On a different note, I read the most wonderful quote on a blog the other day and I've been meditating on it for several days:

Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you’d have preferred to talk.


~Larson
 
I like it, I see relevance it in regarding so many areas of my life right now...I think this will be my motto for 2011...
 
We are closing in on our deadline to be debt free!!  I just sent another huge check to the student loans and I asked Darryl last night what he thought the balance was..he was over by $1000!.  We were both so excited on how close we are and I think if I'm super diligent this month, we'll make it!  Please pray that no incedentals come up that would hinder us paying this off...I'd really appreciate it!
 
Baby is kickin' and kickin'...I go for another doctor's appointment next week.  We haven't talked about names yet but I have one in mind that just seems to stick every time I think about it but we'll have to see what Darryl thinks.
 
That's it for now...Oh!  Congrats to my brother for getting accepted to two colleges so far!  I'm so proud of him! 

Computer still not fixed...

My laptop still isn't fixed.  It's no one's fault.  Darryl was going to try and get the computer guy at work to help us with it but apparantly Darryl is still waiting for his work laptop to be repaired...(ahheemm...for 6 months now)...so, while I'd be grateful for the free help, I can not wait 6+ months to get my laptop fixed.  So, Darryl is going to try and bring it somewhere this week to get repaired.  Hopefully, it won't be too much because we had an unexpected car repair yesterday to the tune of $300+ dollars. 

On the plus side, we are still chugging away at paying off that last student loan and I'm still hopeful that we will do it by the end of February.  Darryl cashed in some points on the his credit card and we got a $500 check, so off that went to debt.  And he also recieved another bonus this month, so off that went to debt.  We are SOOOO close now...I am still in shock of how the Lord has provided for us financially to be able to knock this out so quickly.  I know I sometimes take for granted how blessed we are in that area and how I hope/pray that we will never be in debt again.  We have had some wonderful conversations with the boys on debt and they are both adament about paying cash for college.  We've already explored ways to do that and how we plan to give them a head start.  Fortunately, their 529 plans are bouncing back from the huge  drop they took, so we hope to give them a good start.

Darryl and I went out on a date last Friday night.  We had a friend watch the boys and they had a wonderful time playing with their kids.  I'm so thankful for these new friends we have made and hope to deepen our friendship and watch it grow!  We had a wonderful time together and so enjoy laughing and having fun together!

Baby boy is still movin' and shakin' a ton..he's going to be active!  I'm really starting to embrace this gift, because it truely is a gift and even though it's taken me this long to see it, I do and I'm grateful.  Darryl has been writing me wonderful notes in the morning about me and the baby and how he is so happy.  He is such a great husband and father...I'm so blessed...

That's it for now, hopefully the computer will be fixed this weekend and I can finally upload some pictures!!

Update...still no photos...

We haven't gotten our computer fixed yet so I still can't upload photos but wanted to get my blog updated!

We've had a nice week together...it was a bit rough getting back into the swing of things with school but by now it's flowing nicely and we are having fun together.

I think...that the boys were a bit worried about the baby.  They have really been clingy lately, especially with Darryl, and last night Nicholas expressed that he was worried he wouldn't get any attention after the baby came.  Well, I had to excuse myself from the conversation because I knew it would upset me and I didn't want the boys to see my reaction.  This morning after breakfast, I sat them down and we talked about their concerns.  He was concerned he would never be able to go to Monkey Joes again..which of course, is not true!  I'm so glad I got to talk with them and ease their fears because I know how irrational my fears can be.  I told them that this was all a new experience for us and that we were a team.  That yes, the first month or so may be an adjustment  but that was such a short amount of time and we would still have our movie nights(another fear of his) and our game nights.  I told them that even though they may not love the baby now, that they will because this baby will forever be a part of their lives(it helps to say it so I can convince myself as well)...  I read on Dr. Sears website to not downplay their fears like saying, "oh, you don't mean that" or things of that nature.  So, we addressed the fears head on and it seemed to comfort them.  They are excited to find out the sex of the baby and they loved when I told them that the baby can hear them now and knows who they are(meaning it's familiar with their voice) they both thought that was so cool.  They love the idea of the baby coming to their baseball games and chearing them on... We also talked alot about when they were babies so that was so sweet....

I'm still not ready to go shopping or anything yet and what was wierd..and really cool is that yesterday before  this happened I had a glimmer of...happiness..contentment...about the situation.  Well, after this happened and I escaped into my room(thankfully Darryl is always there to pick it up and took the boys into their bedroom to read-they never knew I was upset)...Well, as I'm sitting in my room going to that dark place I can go too, the place that causes me so much anxiety and fear-I was comforted....it was really wierd.
I asked for help and help was there for me.  I was told that everything would be fine, that families I admired had large families and large age gaps and that these families had so much love and togetherness-everything I've wanted for our family...those same people have comforted me when I've asked some pretty tough questions regarding the similarities in our situations and how it affected their families....not one single comment was negative..not one..in fact, they have all shared how it's been such a blessing to their family...so I cling to that..to that hope that this will make our family better(which to me seems impossible-I have such a great family it's hard to imagine it getting better!)...so...I'm halfway there..hopefully, the next 20 weeks will go a bit slower, have a bit more contentment, and that through all this, my relationship with God grows stronger...

On a different note, we are sooooo close to being debt free!!! We have been holding on to these student loans of Darryls for quite some time-usually paying the minimum and it's seems to always have been there...well, I got crazy about it a couple of months ago and we are almost done!!!  I have been diligent about saving any extra cash and paying bonuses to the student loans.  It feels so good at the end of the month to see our hard work paying off and paying a huge chunk of money toward them.  I get so excited I call the student loan office a couple of days later just to hear the new total (-:  I'm projecting, with some hard work and couple more projected bonuses, that we will be debt free(minus mortgage) by the end of February!!  After we are done with that, my goal is to have 1/2 of our 6 month emergency fund funded by the end of the year as well as save for other incidentals...It's going to take some hard work and diligence but I think we can do it!!

We are hoping on starting the chicken coops and garden beds soon.  Darryl has been busy chopping down trees and looking at chicken coop plans.  I'm anxious to get my seed catalogs in the mail and ordering some seeds.  I'd also love to order a couple of fruit trees if the budget is there...with gas and food prices going up, I have this need to feel prepared(my mom thinks I'm crazy) but I feel comforted when there is food here and I know that I will be able to provide food for our family...God willing of course (-:

Just saw on the news we may get a foot of snow here on Tuesday.  That's pretty big!  Our last snow storm we got about 6 inches and that seemed like alot so we'll see!

 I'm going to splurge and get my hair hilighted on Saturday.  I so wish I could do it myself-I am so scared to get a bad color job and I hate spending all that money when I clearly know how to do this but I just can't do them on myself.  I've sadly had a couple of grey hairs that have made an appearance and I'm not ready for full on color yet, so I'll go the hilighted route.  I wish I could find an organic hair color but there really aren't any good options out there.  At least the hilights don't touch my scalp so there won't be any chemicals touching my skin only my hair-which is dead anyway.

I've also been experimenting with making my own body products.  I love using natural products for everything and have always had a love for things that are beautiful and make me feel good!    I've already make a lucious whipped shea butter body cream as well as a Vitamin C serum.  They both have  been a great success.  I have many other recipes I'm going to try and hopefully, I can get a little business started making organic, preservative free products.  It's really quite fun and I'm loving how they feel on my skin!  So, stay tuned for that-I'll start with a giveaway on my blog!

So, that's it for now, we find out what we are having on Monday-so after I call my family and let them know I'll post here!

Blessings!

Update

I still can't post pictures...we just ordered the part for the laptop on Monday so hopefully we'll have it fixed by the end of this week.
 We had a wonderful Thanksgiving with my husband's sister and her family.  The boys LOVED playing with their little cousin and wouldn't leave her alone.  She was precious.  I think, in a way, that was God showing me what it would be like to have a little one in the house..it was nice.  The boys drew pictures of her, colored with her, played blocks with her, chased her and made her giggle constantly..it was really sweet.

I'm feeling good...both physically and mentally.  I'm still not ready to go shopping yet and someone asked me yesterday if I'd thought of baby names and that hasn't even crossed my mind...but I'm getting there.  I have a doctor's appointment next week to go over my blood work and then I think I'm going to switch doctors.  I'm really not happy with the practice and haven't felt comfortable there...so, I'm praying I'll find a better doctor.

I've been busy shopping and crafting.  I'm about 85% done with one sock monkey.  My goal is to be totally done by the end of this week with both of them and to get started on the boys pj's.  I'm either so pooped by the end of the night or I really want to go on the treadmill so neither of those lend to much crafting time(although it's one of my most favorite things to do). 

I'm been also researching curriculum and classes for the boys for next fall.  I'm thinking I need to outsource writing/grammar for them.  I found what looks to be a good online class but it's very, very expensive(especially when you times it by two) ...like college class expensive. So, we'll see where our budget is in the spring and if it's something we can do.  I also am hoping to sign them up for a science class here in town.

I just finished decorating yesterday and the house looks great-I hope to show pictures soon!

Updating

Sorry their hasn't been any pictures lately.  My laptop is on the fritz and I don't have pictures saved on our desktop, so after I order the part necessary to fix the laptop-I'll be updating with pictures.

I'm feeling a bit better lately.  I'm S..L..O..W..L..Y..coming to what I would call acceptance.  I'm definetely better than where I was.  I still get emotional about it and do cry, but those instances are fewer and farer between.  Seeing little one waving around last Friday made Darryl elated...he was beaming the entire afternoon.  Yes, I had another ultrasound..so that's 5 so far...yes, I'm crazy...but I had to make sure again that their was only one.  I was scared one was hiding from me! 

I haven't gained any weight yet but my belly is starting to poke out.  Thankfully, I still fit comfortably in my non-maternity clothes and hope to stay that way for a couple more months-we'll see how big the tummy gets...

I'm busy preparing for Thanksgiving.  Lists, shopping, baking-I love it!!

I've also begun some Christmas crafting.  I've started the sock monkeys for the boys, cut out the material for their Christmas pajammies and I'm also making them matching pillowcases.  I've also started crafting for some other people.  I've made something new this Christmas that I think is really cute. 

As far as the holiday season..it's begun as far as I'm concerned-it became official when I purchased eggnog yesterday...I couldn't resist...it was calling my name..I had to do it...and it was organic...
Is it bad that when we got home from the grocery store, I sent the boys upstairs for some quiet time so I could enjoy the egg nog alone?    Hi, my name is Tanya, and I'm an egg nog hoarder....

Anyway, the boys have a piano recital this weekend, then I'm hoping we can go create some Christmas ornaments together.  We may do something at home this year-while I love going to the pottery place, it does get pretty expensive and I'd like to bring them there for something else this Christmas season.

So, that's pretty much what's going on here.  I'm hanging on......with my egg nog...