Monday, August 31, 2009

Our home




This is my kitchen...I love my kitchen...I designed this kitchen from the floors, to the ceiling, to the walls, to the fixtures...everything...


But, our home is for sale...


Why? I don't know because I'm not content. I have major issues with being content. This must sound so selfish to some people and in all honestly, I feel selfish. I am a sinner and this is one area I really struggle-just tryin' to be real here. You see we've owned 4 homes since the boys were born(they are 7). It seems we have never felt *at home* somewhere. Could it be because we move so much, probably. We've never established roots somewhere. I've always thought the grass was greener somewhere else. It isn't...I've learned that... But to be honest, I don't want to live here. D doesn't want to live here... The boys don't want to live here. I wonder is it because of my negative energy regarding this place but I don't know. The boys miss our old home. We lived in a subdivision. With a pool...and lots of kids...and a big suburban home. Now, we live in a little 1940 bungalow within walking distance to town. We can walk to the library, to the ice cream shop, to listen to music on the green. But, there are no kids, our yard is really small...and there are no kids. We moved here because my husband and I wanted too we didn't take into account what they wanted.
They don't want to be here. So, the for sale sign went up last Thursday and we'll see where the wind blows us this time. It may be awhile seeing as this isn't the best time to sell a home. And yes, we will probably lose alot of money, but this next home will be a family decision.
Either that, or the house won't sell and this will be a lesson in contentment I will have to swallow.
God is good and he knows what's best for all of us, not just me...
Nicholas just informed me that when he grows up he's going to be a dirt bike racer and a police officer, while Matthew says he's going to be a robber.....

Why I'm going to blog

I want a record of my days. I really dislike journaling in book, but don't mind typing. I really want to remember and cherish these everyday moments. Not just our vacations or special occasions, but the joy in the everyday. I am so blessed, but sometimes I don't see it. It takes some reflection on my part to see what God has given me. I have problems with being content. I battle some anxiety and depression and believe this blog will help me overcome the negative and see the positive. In truth, there really isn't any negative in my life. I have a wonderful family. My husband and I are best friends, we are totally in love and have been married since 1996. I have twin boys who are healthy, smart, active, and fun. I have a roof over my head and healthy food and clean water to drink. But, mostly I'm grateful for my savior, Jesus. He has died for me. All of my ugly, disgusting, dreadful sins have been forgiven because of him. For this, I strive to serve my Lord and Savior and although I fail daily, I'll continue to live for Him.
Please join me on this journey of reflection as well as our everyday adventures.