Well, it's been a long, long couple of months. Some wonderful things have happened as well as some bad. I really needed the break, but missed sharing my thoughts, pictures, memories, and moments. I was diagnosed with anxiety and I struggle with it almost daily. I don't take any medication at the moment, but I'm not opposed to it if I get in really bad(which I have this past couple of months). I managed to not take anything, mainly for fear of complications. I'm out of the fog now and feeling good.
I'm also pregnant.
Those that know me well and love me(my husband) know that the first trimester is a dark, dark time for me. I go into a deep depression when my hormones are surging. This time was one of the worst and we *almost* didn't make it through. But, by God's grace, we have. We are on the other side and things are good again. Why my husband puts up with me, I'll never understand. I know he says he knows it's going to be rough for a bit and I'll come out of it, but in those moments I don't believe him.
He is the strongest man I have ever known.
I am honored and blessed to call him my husband.
We all know the struggle is worth it...so, so worth it. We are going to have a little girl. We truly feel blessed. I won't lie and say my anxiety doesn't get the best of me at times with worry for this little one or for my other children, but I'm doing pretty well with it...
We've also had some other changes as well. My dad has moved up to be close to us. Actually, he's really close right now living on our property until he gets his home started. He loves his new job and it brings me such joy to see him happy with what he's doing.
I have learned that those you least expect can surprise....in a good way....
To be honest, I've learned so much in these few months. Some, I will share in the future and some will stay in my heart...what I've learned most is that love does conquer all. The love my husband feels for me is strong. I know he loves me, I know he loves our family. I know...without.a.doubt..he is with me through thick and thin. I've seen it. I've experienced it. After 18 years together, I finally get it and it feels wonderful.