We haven't gotten our computer fixed yet so I still can't upload photos but wanted to get my blog updated!
We've had a nice week together...it was a bit rough getting back into the swing of things with school but by now it's flowing nicely and we are having fun together.
I think...that the boys were a bit worried about the baby. They have really been clingy lately, especially with Darryl, and last night Nicholas expressed that he was worried he wouldn't get any attention after the baby came. Well, I had to excuse myself from the conversation because I knew it would upset me and I didn't want the boys to see my reaction. This morning after breakfast, I sat them down and we talked about their concerns. He was concerned he would never be able to go to Monkey Joes again..which of course, is not true! I'm so glad I got to talk with them and ease their fears because I know how irrational my fears can be. I told them that this was all a new experience for us and that we were a team. That yes, the first month or so may be an adjustment but that was such a short amount of time and we would still have our movie nights(another fear of his) and our game nights. I told them that even though they may not love the baby now, that they will because this baby will forever be a part of their lives(it helps to say it so I can convince myself as well)... I read on Dr. Sears website to not downplay their fears like saying, "oh, you don't mean that" or things of that nature. So, we addressed the fears head on and it seemed to comfort them. They are excited to find out the sex of the baby and they loved when I told them that the baby can hear them now and knows who they are(meaning it's familiar with their voice) they both thought that was so cool. They love the idea of the baby coming to their baseball games and chearing them on... We also talked alot about when they were babies so that was so sweet....
I'm still not ready to go shopping or anything yet and what was wierd..and really cool is that yesterday before this happened I had a glimmer of...happiness..contentment...about the situation. Well, after this happened and I escaped into my room(thankfully Darryl is always there to pick it up and took the boys into their bedroom to read-they never knew I was upset)...Well, as I'm sitting in my room going to that dark place I can go too, the place that causes me so much anxiety and fear-I was comforted....it was really wierd.
I asked for help and help was there for me. I was told that everything would be fine, that families I admired had large families and large age gaps and that these families had so much love and togetherness-everything I've wanted for our family...those same people have comforted me when I've asked some pretty tough questions regarding the similarities in our situations and how it affected their families....not one single comment was negative..not one..in fact, they have all shared how it's been such a blessing to their family...so I cling to that..to that hope that this will make our family better(which to me seems impossible-I have such a great family it's hard to imagine it getting better!)...so...I'm halfway there..hopefully, the next 20 weeks will go a bit slower, have a bit more contentment, and that through all this, my relationship with God grows stronger...
On a different note, we are sooooo close to being debt free!!! We have been holding on to these student loans of Darryls for quite some time-usually paying the minimum and it's seems to always have been there...well, I got crazy about it a couple of months ago and we are almost done!!! I have been diligent about saving any extra cash and paying bonuses to the student loans. It feels so good at the end of the month to see our hard work paying off and paying a huge chunk of money toward them. I get so excited I call the student loan office a couple of days later just to hear the new total (-: I'm projecting, with some hard work and couple more projected bonuses, that we will be debt free(minus mortgage) by the end of February!! After we are done with that, my goal is to have 1/2 of our 6 month emergency fund funded by the end of the year as well as save for other incidentals...It's going to take some hard work and diligence but I think we can do it!!
We are hoping on starting the chicken coops and garden beds soon. Darryl has been busy chopping down trees and looking at chicken coop plans. I'm anxious to get my seed catalogs in the mail and ordering some seeds. I'd also love to order a couple of fruit trees if the budget is there...with gas and food prices going up, I have this need to feel prepared(my mom thinks I'm crazy) but I feel comforted when there is food here and I know that I will be able to provide food for our family...God willing of course (-:
Just saw on the news we may get a foot of snow here on Tuesday. That's pretty big! Our last snow storm we got about 6 inches and that seemed like alot so we'll see!
I'm going to splurge and get my hair hilighted on Saturday. I so wish I could do it myself-I am so scared to get a bad color job and I hate spending all that money when I clearly know how to do this but I just can't do them on myself. I've sadly had a couple of grey hairs that have made an appearance and I'm not ready for full on color yet, so I'll go the hilighted route. I wish I could find an organic hair color but there really aren't any good options out there. At least the hilights don't touch my scalp so there won't be any chemicals touching my skin only my hair-which is dead anyway.
I've also been experimenting with making my own body products. I love using natural products for everything and have always had a love for things that are beautiful and make me feel good! I've already make a lucious whipped shea butter body cream as well as a Vitamin C serum. They both have been a great success. I have many other recipes I'm going to try and hopefully, I can get a little business started making organic, preservative free products. It's really quite fun and I'm loving how they feel on my skin! So, stay tuned for that-I'll start with a giveaway on my blog!
So, that's it for now, we find out what we are having on Monday-so after I call my family and let them know I'll post here!